Der Teenage Panzerkorps-Thee Incantations of Bunker Wolf EP (2011)

During an extended tipple yesterday afternoon, a buddy and I were swapping music recommendations and I wouldn't shut up about the San Francisco/Aachen krautpunk powerhouse Der Teenage Panzerkorps (Der TPK). Given my longwinded rant about the virtues of combining motorik grooves with lo-fi punk guitar slop, I figured I should put my mp3 files where my mouth is and share this beaut with y'all.

"Afternoon Service" is thirty-eight seconds of luminescent, crude synthesizer immanence that breaks you in for the EP's rager, "V3." Der TPK is crude, musically speaking, for most people, but their insistent guitar whine and thrumming rhythm section are downright avant garde by punk standards. "V3" propels forward on a Neu!-esque beat, trashed guitar, and Bunker Wolf's Teutonic hollering mixed in the foreground. I can't describe what exactly makes me happy when I blast this at top volume, but it brings a smile to this grizzled old fuck's face every time, dontchaknow.

"Baptismal Fountain" continues clanking along on the 4-track mud march, but the mix is a bit cleaner: I could separate the synth line from the guitar thrum. Ending as it does at 1:43, "BF" doesn't overstay its welcome and would be the intro or coda to any other band's album. As it is, it's a terse bit of cleverness. On "God an Ape," Bunker Wolf continues his monotone howl, mixed so loudly it dwarfs the thump-n-bump of the band.

Es tut mir leid! After blowing out yr eardrums to this masterpiece, mosey on over to Burundi Cloud Records, where you can buy the EP and all the other records Der TPK has released of late. Groove on, goonies.

Piss Crystals-Harn-Chemikalien wunderbare Gedichten 1. EP (2012)

 This band should be huge among noise/punk circles outside of Hungary, so download this EP and hype 'em to yr friends at yr next coke-and-punk party.

In case yr blind and can't make out the image to the left, it features a vaguely crust punk-type fella takin' a whizz on a cross. It's a good image fr this album 'cause a deftly-mixed combination of idiocy and intelligence are what, well, crystallizes this EP into something worth listening to for those who aren't Piss Crystals' drinking buddies.

I initially took umbrage at the intro to "Hug Lyf," but then was told it's a sample from something by the Olsen Twins, so sample/mock on [thanks, Ferenc]. Abruptly, just when you've labelled PC as a goofball band, they break out into fast, urgent Punk Rock that pours out the sincerity so cleverly hidden in the opening skit. "Born Old" is a ragged bit of shouted, emphatically emotional schlock of the sort I always wanted one of the D.C. Revolution Summer bands to make, but those rich Georgetown fucks never did. Even better, halfway through, it becomes savage hardcore then ends.

"Bohocxkiraply" (yeah if yr an Amuricuhn like me it's impossible to pronounce) is savage hardcore the way it was supposed to be played: fast, blurry, idiotic, angry. In fact, the middle tracks of the EP wind themselves up to such a pitch of ugly earnestness that they're as good as Muuy Biien's take on the Middle Class' best riffs. Ugly, fast, deceptively intelligent: this is Piss Crystals in a nutshell. "Glass House" develops in a clear, meditative manner I last heard with Wild Moth: swirling guitar, plodding rhythm section, plenty of reverb. Good for starting a wasted Sunday to. THe singer spits out verses like an alcoholic given one last chance at sobriety: so worried about making a good impression that it's not worth listening to the lyrics 'cause the affect means so much more. I'm guessing "FOAD" has malicious intent aplenty since I was scrawling this legend on bathroom doors when I was 13 (i.e., FOAD=Fuck Off And Die for non-native English speakerz).

The coolest thing about Piss Crystals is their mix of off-the-cuff, "I don't give a fuck" garage scuzz and earnest, emo-esque vocal delivery/instrumental crescendoes. If half of the world's punk or garage bands played like this, we'd be halfway to figuring out the dumb divisions ghettoizing all the various post-punk scenes.

Whatever, Piss Crystals is awesome. Download the EP HERE!