Vaguess--I Hate Rock 'n' Roll EP (2013)

This dood beats himself at his own game every time out. 2013's Back off Warchild EP was a perfect slice of bratpunk from the sunny slums of Southern California: how can you hate someone who writes songs about "Cali Swag" (yeah, that's a thing)? It just gets better on I Hate Rock 'n' Roll. Kicking off with a killer riff and a brilliantly dumb organ line, the title track is pure teen spite from start to finish.

I love this whole EP, in fact, but "I'm Bad" is the best track here. Opening with a stomping, raunchy rhythm that sounds like the New York Dolls on speed, the tune hums and hollers and sleazes its way to your heart in no time flat. Vinny chants along to what sounds like a hummed harmonic line somewhere in the background. It's a perfect piece of jangle pop filtered through Southern California sleaze, and closes with one of the best lyrics I've heard in a long time:  "I don't wanna be a deviant/but I'm always gonna be a pile of shit".

Other song topics include hating school, getting fucked up on the beach, and hatred of reading. On that note, further description is pointless: like I said in my review of this guy's debut LP, if you hate Vaguess, you're a stupid asshole who hates rock 'n' roll (even though Vaguess does, too). And this EP is even better than that LP was: these are songs! With choruses! And refrains! And identifiable instruments mixed separately!

So go find someone who can stand being around you for ten minutes, get her/him drunk enough to dance, and ROCK THE FUCK OUT to this bit of sunny slime!

Vaguess-s/t LP (2013)

If you hate Vaguess, you're a stupid asshole who hates rock 'n' roll. Yeah, that's right kiddies, the Drug Punk is back 'n' decked in black 'n' as full of spite as ever. If I've ever steered you wrong it's out of a sense of duty not duplicity and I do what I can to review everything that crosses my desk so if a record sucks, the following blurb is at least done in earnest (on my part, anyways)....

....anyway, you know yr gonna love it if a band's name is Vaguess.  Vaguess trafficks in surf slop garage blasts of genius, laying the nostalgia on heavy, quite like the much-beloved Hunx 'n' His Punx.* Sloppy, almost-4'4'-time-rhythm section, a singer who sounds like he took two too many Valium before appearing at the studio, and a guitarist who can't decide if he's Kurt Cobain or (Germs-era) Pat Smear. Fucking righteous. The fact that the singer sounds sorta (a lot) like Keith Morris or Mike Ness just makes these tunes a thousand times better.

A more sober reviewer would go into these songs individually, analyzing and dissecting, but that just ain't my way. I'm too faded on bad beer and bad pills to do anything more competent than this heer review. All I can say is that, if you've been paying attention this long (God bless), yr gonna love this garage gloop.

GET STOOPID GET SMART THEN GET CONSUMERIST. You know what I mean.

*If you don't love Hunx 'n' His Punx, then you probably hate things like love and sex too. I saw these fuckerz in Portland awhile ago 'n' dude was asking for tips so he could afford to go to the gay strip club down the street. Righteous. Vaguess is pretty cool too.