Crazy Pills-Restless LP (2013)

Behind all the gloop 'n'glop,  many of us-even at this late date of the beshitted year of our Lord 2013-still prefer bare bones, moronically straightforward rock 'n roll over contrived, overly-complicated gimmicks and/or too-kool-for-skool-retreads. Of course, doing your best to sound like Jerry Lee Lewis' band fronted by a woman is fundamentally reactionary. But the last couple of years' worth of subcultural (anti-)cultural slop have largely focused on rehashing the 1990s. So takin' it back to the '50s seems downright revolutionary-by-way-of-reactionary at this point.

Whatever, in Crazy Pills, Brookyln belches out yet another sweet rock 'n'roll group that strips away all pretense and just dishes out snazzy tunes to dance to. This sort of rock is exactly opposed to longwinded disquisitions on why it's good; it just is.

So crack a beer, comb some pomade through your hair, and go down to the local sleazy rocker bar. Pop a quarter in the jukebox, then get irate with the bartender when Crazy Pills doesn't show up. Then insis, at top volume, that he look this band up HERE, and FUCKING ROCK OUT DOOD. Yeah. I totally impressed a girl enough with this sort of gimmick for her to make out with me last weekend, Scout's honor.

Rock 'n' Roll Cannibals-Blood and Pomade LP (2012)

Before I get to the review proper, let me say a few things about rockabilly.

First of all, greasers are badasses and there's a part of me that will always admire them. Second, this subculture is now pushing seventy, so I can safely say that we can expect nothing new from a rockabilly band. Third of all, that psychobilly craze of the early '00s was fucking stupid (anyone remember the Necromantix? That's too bad).

Anyway, Charlottesville, Virginia's Rock 'n' Roll Cannibals are at the top of the heap as far as current rockabilly goes. I never really got into psychobilly (Cramps excepted), so I'm happy that the Cannibals keep it pretty traditional on their first outing.  Scratchy, twangy guitar and dirt-simple drumming anchor the singerr, who can really belt it out, clearly shooting for Carl Perkins or Screamin' Jay Hawkins. Listening closely, you can learn a lot from the lyrics: these lessons include the best recipe for cooking babies with (parmesan cheese and spaghetti are good, apparently). "That voodoo" is probably the best song, instrumentally, although the opener gives it a run for its money.

I have to be in a very specific mood to listen to rockabilly. This mood comes upon me about twice a year, so I can't say I'll be listening to the Cannibals much, but when I do have said mood, they'll be on the turntable.

Listen to it here. Brought to you by Mellow Riot.