Der Tanz-Vatta LP (2014)

Well, between the whole Crimean debacle and the Front National sweeping local elections in France two days ago, it looks like 2014 is shaping up to be just about as shitty as 2013 was.* So Der Tanz, in their roundabout way, is just as relevant as ever. Like I said in my review of their debut LP, Der Tanz isn't "conscious" or "political" or any such wanna-be-Crass-type jazz, and that is what makes them so brilliantly of their moment.

The production quality is better (that is to say, there is any) on round two, but the band has preserved what made their debut so good. That would be: a grinding, tormented duel between guitar and rhythm section; stentorian, Nick-Cave-on-a-good-day singing; and a knack for stop-on-the-dime soft-loud dynamics. Taken altogether, Der Tanz sounds like a great kraken battling through geological sedimentation on the bottom of some paleolithic sea, the Pangean, like as not.

But that isn't to equate them with wanky post-metal acts like Isis. Rather, Der Tanz conjures up more depth and darkness in a single song than most (post-)punk bands manage their entire careers. Take "Slow Tilt," for example: originating in seething, churning bass chords of doom, the song gradually broadens into an artillery barrage of improvised drumming and hollered vocals. Midway through, the song crystallizes into an agonizing, gradually increasing misery index before plunging back into a pool of squalling, hissing feedback as  the singer numbly intones that"god is a scarecrow". Whatever that means."Elvis has left the Building" is almost nothing but fingersnaps and vocals; somehow it works. The album's closer, "Tatra," is remarkable even by Der Tanz's standards. From piddling synth percussion, to menacing repetition of "in for a pound," to the dessicated insect hum of a few, solitary guitar notes, it's impressive how much this band squeezes out of minimal hissing and squawking.

Hell, I haven't even bothered discussing the best of this album. Just do the shimmyshammy over to Der Tanz's bandcamp page, where you can listen to and buy this thing, before I puke up beer all over you for being tonedeaf. Ha!

*Also that knife attack in China, atrocities in the Central African Republic, et. al. Although Fred Phelps finally died, so at least we don't have to hear from that vile puddle of puke anymore.

Cacaw-Get a Brain 12" EP (2010?)

Tips on being a successful mid-20-something in the U.S.A.:

7 a.m.: Wake up, preferably hung over, preferably unable to recall how you wound up in your own bed (or in someone else's bed, even better). Clutch your head in a paroxysm of pain, hoping that this is all a bad dream. Repeat.

7:30 a.m.: Finally crawl out of bed because that stupid alarm clock won't shut up, and because coffee will not-despite your best efforts-make itself. If you woke up in another person's bed, add the fact that s/he is starting to wake up, and ABSOLUTELY WILL NOT want you next to them when they do sober up and wake up.

7:45-9:00 a.m.: Sip coffee and munch on day-old bread, preferably alone, preferably in your underwear, alone. As you do so, ponder the deeper mysteries of how it is that, despite your best efforts, it is in fact Friday and you have in fact been this hungover every Friday for the last month (at least).

9:15 a.m.: Muster up enough courage to check your cell phone and/or social media device. Figure out how many friendships you destroyed. Make initial efforts to heal the wounds, or throw them all away. It depends on how much you drank, and how much horseshit your friends are willing to tolerate.

10:00 a.m.: Disturbed by knocking on your bedroom door. The rent's due again. Pay it, or, alternatively, think of some horseshit excuse that doesn't trick your room mates-let alone landlord-into giving you a one-day extension.

10:30 a.m.: Feel so elated about accomplishing the major feat of paying or ducking the rent that you manage to take a shower.

11:00 a.m.-noon: Make your way to your place of business. Wisecrack with your friends about last night's peccadillos, hiding the fact that you may have picked up an STD, and certainly should not be mixing with civilized humans at such an early hour.

1:00 p.m.-5:00 p.m.: Avoid a mountain of work. That mountain has been here since early May, but God knows that you adamantly refuse to start tunneling beneath it like a good gopher. Stare at it. Hate it. Feel reassured because it ain't going anywhere. Repeat.

~5:00 p.m.: Duck out of work as early as possible. Make your way to the local bar and/or cafeteria. Your friends-who have girlfriends (boyfriends), careers, and in general have a clear sense of real priorities, will meet you there soon.

~5:30 p.m.: Scream and shout about Marxism, the dialectic, and the newest, most awesomest punk records with above-said friends.

 ~8:00 p.m.: stumble home, reeking of beer and/or whiskey. Continue drinking while playing Cacaw or Black Flag (don't make no difference) at top volume.

~midnight: pass out in a pool of drool, sweat, and vomit. You should be too disgusted by yourself to be capable of forming coherent thoughts, by this point. In the unlucky and unlikely event that you are, however, they should be centered on the fixed idea of how dumb you are and how boring your dirtbag, degenerate life is.

CACAW IS PREEMO-PRIMO NOISE ROCK SWEETNESS, SHITBIRD.

*EDIT, 7.15.14: Just re-up'd the file, get it HERE*

MEDIAFIRE AND LEMAIRE CAN SUCK IT

I just realized that Mediafire has suspended my account. Those motherfuckers didn't even send me a fucking email. Thanks a lot, you bastards. I can't explain how angry I am about this.

This means that all of the posts from 2011 now have dead links, as well as quite a few from this year.  I don't have the time or patience to re-up everything. If you want a given file or mix, send me an email or leave a comment on the relevant entry and I'll reup it elsewhere. Or, if any of you wanna be sweethearts, try posting current links for dead files.

The "Alone and Forsaken" takedowns especially piss me off, since they're semi-autobiographical in a lot of ways. Also, A&F XIII included a track by a good friend that I was hoping would get more attention.

I'd like to reiterate my charge that the people who run Mediafire are, collectively, a bunch of cowards and assholes. Of course, I expect this sort of behavior from a corporation, but Mediafire is notable for their open complicity with fraudulent copyright owners, namely, LinkID and Lemaire.
 Their one-way process of kowtowing to any shitbird who sounds like a lawyer is craven and despicable, and in any case will not save them if SOPA passes. There is no future in Mediafire's dreaming.

The way Mediafire responds to complaints, based on what I, Zen Arcade, Iamtheleastmachiavellian, and various other blogs have experienced, is to unquestioningly believe anyone who emails them with a complaint., even if the email is clearly written by a spambot or dummy corporation.

I'm using Zippyshare for all future reviews when there isn't a bandcamp link. I'm sure, however, that the purge of music blogs will eventually zero in on Zippyshare. If anyone has suggestions for more permanent solutions to this issue, now's the time to start talking.

I'm going to continue Drug Punk to the best of my ability and as time allows. The contrarian in me actually is energized by what these shitbirds are doing to the community of weirdos, loners, and music nerds that I've always aimed my writing and posts at. If all else fails, we can just go back to trading cassettes anyways.

If you run a blog or any sort of website that hosts files, you're probably going to be targeted soon, if you haven't already, by someone calling himself Lemaire, running the company LinkID. Here's the contact info:
LeakID
13, rue Greneta
75003 PARIS
Tel: +33950084207
Mobile: +33620867619
Mail: contact@leakid.com