Crystal Soda Cream-Escape from Vienna LP (2013)

This album sounds like the kind of record I might concoct if I lived in the building featured on the cover: claustrophobic, melodramatic, and elegantly wasted in a way that us Amurikuhns could never match. Cold/dark/fuckitallwave is real big now, as well as a wholesale cannibalization of sounds that first drifted to the surface back in the mid-80s, but Central Europeans have a right to make this sorta music. Crystal Soda Cream have crafted one helluva sound on this LP and, like the building on the cover, it's great to hide behind while having a panic attack.

Of course, when I have panic attacks my preferred soundtrack is Skip James or this, but then again, formalism's never been my strong suit. CSC plays the sort of maudlin, droopy-eyed post-punk you'll love if you dig Martial Canterel and such biz. They're a live band, granted, unlike Canterel's synth ice picks to the neck, but I can feel the glacial frigidity and haughty Teutonic grandeur wafting from Danubian heights all the way down to my squalid flat in the Valdarno.

Come to think of it, this LP even features a song called "Roman Holiday." I don't think it's about going to Rome-it's a bit too chilly for that-but it's my fave'un here. The guitar is barely audible, but it's amazing how much presence you can pack into a few subdued, insistent notes. CSC comes dangerously close to forward momentum on "DIWHY," but the music is so contorted and considered that there's no danger of spontaneous joy breaking out. The noisy clusterfuck midway through "Drag" is cool, too, although the chorus worries me a lot, coming from Austrians: "You better stay out of this country I was born into."* Uh...? In any case, the Monozid LP I reviewed awhile is a lot of fun: dance yourself stupid to that, then start drinking gin and chill out with this one.

Hate this review? Good, go fix yourself a drink, put on your best mascara, and shake your neurotic ass to this fun piece of post-punk. HERE.
You can buy the LP HERE!

*Another case of me missing the irony-as I was hoping, this is bitter social commentary, not racist doggerel. Cheers to the band for contacting me on it!